Kriminalhörspiel Podkast

00:05 Hello, everyone. I'm Emily Campagno, along with Paul Morrow, Jessica Tarloff, Jesse Waters, and Greg Gutfeld. It's 5 o'clock in New York City, and this is The Five. 00:22 More big tent baloney from the Democrats. Chuck Schumer backpedaling after seeming to write off Michigan as part of the Democrats' path back to a Senate majority earlier this week. Now he's singing the praises of radical Senate candidate Abdul El-Sayed and cozying up with socialists who want to abolish the very chamber he wants to lead. Watch. 00:43 We're a big tent party. 00:45 And, you know, not everyone has the same exact view on every single issue. The bottom line is we're going to win Michigan. Let me tell you why we're going to win Michigan. 00:54 First, El-Sayed has brought in new energy and new talent into the Democratic Party. 01:02 But Schumer's peace offering was met with a punch. Florida Democratic Senate candidate Angie Nixon spitting on the olive branch, telling CNN she wants to chuck Schumer. 01:14 Well, what about Chuck Schumer? Should he be the majority leader if Democrats take back the Senate? 01:20 You know, I think I would possibly be looking elsewhere when I become the next United States senator in regards to leadership. And I mean, we need to make sure that we have people who are centered on people who are working for people. Right. And so, again, do you think Schumer is going to support your campaign? 01:36 Do you expect Democrats in Washington to send money to help you win? 01:41 I actually have Democrats in Washington already sending me money. 01:45 And check out what Vice President J.D. Vance had to say today, slamming El-Sayed over unearthed comments he made as a medical student in 2009. 01:53 El-Sayed, this guy running for Senate in Michigan, he once argued not too long ago that criticisms of Sharia law were rooted in white supremacy. 02:06 I'd love to go back in time and tell my papaw That there's a man who claims to stand for working people who says not only should we have Sharia law, but if you criticize it, you're a white supremacist. 02:19 I'll make this make sense. I don't know if I can do that. The show is only an hour. So a couple of things I would say. First of all, unsolicited advice for the Democrats. Let's take a page from Greg's book and ban a phrase. No more big tent. All right. That's all you're hearing about. Big tent, big tent. If you're going to compel people and you're going to try to convince them of something, you've got to use ideas. Right. Can you imagine what this big tent would look like? It would be like a wedding where both sides hate each other and they're ready to exchange gunfire. This is not a happy big tent situation. Let's do Schumer. 02:50 Here's what's really going on with him. First of all, right out of law school into government, he's never had a job. This guy's never had a real job. Also, he's never made more than $200,000 a year, whatever he makes now, $180,000, I think, as a senator, and he's worth millions. I don't know how that happened. But he's never had a real job. And so what he's terrified of, despite being in his 70s, is getting voted out. Because there's a very good chance that AOC is going to come in. She's going to eat his lunch. And all of a sudden he's going to be like, well, wait a minute. I got to throw myself on the open market here. He is a lawyer, but he's never practiced. So he's worried about that. 03:21 The other thing is that he goes out the door that way. He goes out with his reputation and tatters. Why? Because he helped groom all of this stuff. All right. He has been part of the Democratic establishment that has been feeding the shark, hoping to get eaten last. All right. Now, let's move on to, you know, Angie Nixon here, because she's part of that. I know she's trying to walk away from everything else. We've all seen the stuff on the Internet. You don't walk away. The Internet's forever. We all know that. She's DSA. She is part of this new guard. And you know what? 03:52 What's happening now is the old guard, whether it's Schumer or Bashir in Kentucky. They're all stalking the DSA, begging for a date. They're all like, guys, Big Ten, come on. You know, we can get together. Come on. We'll just go for pizza and a movie. They want nothing to do with you. All right. They're like, Schumer right now is great. You'll notice it's like the old guy at the end of the bar in a toupee who's wearing clothes that are 40 years out of date, who's eyeing up the young women coming into the bar and going to wander over and going, hey, you know, the pickup line is... 04:23 Have you heard the new Doobie Brothers album? It's really boss. All right. They want nothing to do with you. They want to get the big tent. They don't want to burn the tent down. They don't even recognize the landscape that the tent is pitched on. And so as a result, there's no commonality there. He right now, Schumer, is worried about being out of a job. It's not any deeper than that. 04:45 What do you predict Jessica is going to happen? 04:47 With Chuck, especially. And the whole conundrum that Paul's laying out where he created a Frankenstein's monster that are now seeking to dethrone him while he simultaneously supports them in it, weirdly. 04:59 Well, I certainly think there's a strong chance that Chuck Schumer doesn't run for reelection. He'll be 76 years old. It's a perfectly reasonable time not to run. And yeah, if AOC wants that Senate seat, I think that she'll be able to get it. Maybe Pat Ryan jumps in. It would be an interesting contest of ideas there. But you are ignoring another side to what's happened in this cycle vis-a-vis Chuck Schumer and that he recruited Roy Cooper in North Carolina, who's lapping Watley, Sherrod Brown in Ohio, and Mary Peltola in Alaska, who was hesitant to run. 05:32 So he has had some wins on the board. Obviously, what happened in Maine and Michigan was not what he intended. 05:37 People are focused on ideas more than they are on labels. 05:42 Florida, I think, remains a pipe dream for Democrats. I think that Alex Vindman losing is a blessing in disguise because we won't necessarily be spending, you know, tens of millions of dollars there and we can send it to Georgia and Texas and Iowa. Oh, I should note that Chuck Schumer backed Josh Turek as well. 05:59 But I think that there is a contrast worth paying attention to between what we're hearing from even Angie Nixon, who you said she's DSA, DSA. She's been DSA for like about 60 days, identifies as a capitalist, as a small business owner. But she was asked about whether it's joining. OK. 06:17 Yes, she's a resist lib. OK, yeah. Put her in jail. She was asked about whether joining the DSA is a distraction. She said, you all are the ones who are distracted. I'm actually going out talking to voters about the things that matter to them. The fact remains that there are people who are dying because they don't have access to quality health care. That is true. There's one party that wants you to have health care and the other that doesn't care has been promising us a plan for like 10 years at this point. Then you have the vice president today in Ohio. We rolled this clip where he's talking about Sharia law. The more important stuff he was talking about was quality of life. 06:50 He says, we're finally seeing the American dream of home ownership accessible again to young people. The average age of home ownership just hit 40 years old in this country. Mortgage rates are up. Construction is down. That's directly related to the war in Iran. And then he also said, I believe in November we'll face a choice. Do we demand a government that serves us rather than the fraudsters and the criminals? Do we demand that the American president fight for the American people first? 70 percent of Americans say Donald Trump isn't focused on lowering costs, doesn't care about people like me. 07:23 And 70 percent say that his businesses influence how he makes political decisions. He's made two point two billion dollars. J.D. Vance is describing his own government, the fraudsters and the criminals. And Americans will vote based on that. 07:37 How quickly you forget Doge. And how quickly you forget the resistance to Doge. 07:44 You guys were destroying Musk's cars over Doge. Because he was finding all of that fraud. And you guys tried to destroy his company. 07:54 He was also firing all the scientists, everyone who knew something, and then had to beg for them to come back. 08:00 California just passed a law against Nick Shirley. Yeah. I mean... 08:06 Jesse. 08:06 Those are immigrant-run businesses, Paul. Well, I'm with Paul here. You know, Schumer is going to lose his big fancy office and his big fancy title no matter what happens in November. He needs Maine and he needs Michigan. Abdul and Troy the Logger are not his guys, but he has to back them and it's emasculating. Cocaine, Mitch? Would never do this. Remember Carrie Lake? Carrie Lake came at Mitch and Mitch told all the donors no checks to Carrie Lake and she lost. 08:42 Schumer can't do that. So he has to pretend to love Abdul. So it's Jewish Muslim matchup. I'm enjoying watching this very much, although Donald Trump does say that Schumer is becoming a Palestinian. So it's a little bit of a wash there. Abdul has a lot of energy. We'll give him that. But there is a lot of drip, drip, drip. He has to look like a patriot. And every time you hear him talk about Sharia law, white supremacy, and his mother-in-law financing jihadists, allegedly, he's You think this guy's not cut out for the Senate. 09:20 This guy's not cut out for this country. Now, Schumer's got a lot on his hands with Ange. 09:26 Ange backs reparations. 09:29 Ange wants to take away my health care and give it to Fauci. 09:34 Ange is for price controls. Ange is a lunatic and she's got a mouth. Ange says that ICE is going to start killing blacks. Ange says she won't work with Republicans because they want to kill her. Ange is all, all this, all, she's running on hate. 09:50 And you got to run on love, Jessica. And the voters can tell you can want to change America, but you have to do it and come from a place of love. And we know when you're coming from a place of hate. 10:04 And we know when you're coming from a place like a Muslim ban, a place of love. 10:10 We needed to. There was terrorism all across the country. You remember Barack Hussein Obama's administration. Exactly. 10:15 And it wasn't all Muslim countries, but that was a good way to brand it as a Muslim ban, even though there were Muslim countries that weren't banned. 10:25 OK, you know, it's good to remind people what Trump's support was like. He had a lot of weird and odd people who backed him. And we called it a pirate ship because even though everybody was different, they all rode in the same direction. Big parties opposite. They aren't rowing in the same direction at all because they don't have ideas. They just have identities. Now they're paying for it. 10:49 The normies are in trouble. They can't they can't differentiate themselves. They can't say they're common sense because that's. That's Trump's path. Here's the problem. The bigger problem with Big Ten. OK, you got a small group of super far left fanatics who want to tear down everything. 11:03 But there's a much bigger group of regular Democrats who don't. OK, so if you welcome the radicals into your tent, Some will join, but then some normies, they're going to leave. That was what was happening in 2016 to 2024. So the net change is the radicals who join minus the normies who leave. And all you need is a few regulars because it's such a large group. Even a small percentage who leave, the party's going to end up smaller. And it will end up smaller. Trust me. Gaining a few intense radicals is not enough to make the loss losing bigger, losing the larger number of normies. 11:40 It's like somebody deciding to add X-lax to the office candy bowl. Pretty soon, everybody's going to start bringing their own snacks from home. So this is a pattern for Democrats. I like to I love patterns. It's like women's sports and locker rooms. You know, the original purpose was fair competition based on biological sex. That was diluted. 12:00 The female athletes leave Protestant churches. Do you remember when they used to be traditional? Then they incorporated far left positions. Membership dwindled while traditional churches, as you see, flourish. So it's whenever the left decides to allow the elites kind of the elite fringe in mainstream falls apart because the mainstream groups need boundaries. to create cohesion and meaning. And once you insert people who want to upend the norms, the normies feel betrayed and then they disengage and they leave. 12:32 Another example, daughters of the revolution. Can you destroy them? Yes, you can. By allowing trans into daughters of the revolution. They can't be daughters. In fact, that's a complete betrayal. You let them in, daughters of the revolution, actual members will leave. Even though there's a sons of revolution, the trans don't want to do that. So the Big Ten pretends to be this enrichment when it's actually an erosion. The inclusion benefits only the outliers, but in the end, it destroys the institutions. 13:01 Awesome. All right, guys, coming up next, looks like the Biden family's messy drama is set to roil the 2028 primary. Hunter is lashing out at Mamala. 13:32 So a certain former first son is a bit salty over dear old dad getting stabbed in the back. Hunter Biden is dissing Kamala Harris as a lousy politician and seemingly trying to torpedo her 2028 run before it gets off the ground. Watch this. 13:50 Doug and the vice president have always been very generous and kind to me, and I mean that on a personal level. I just think that she's not a very good politician, ultimately, at the end of the day. I don't see how she possibly thinks that distancing herself from Joe Biden is even possible. And why would you if you really believed in the record that you had left? 14:17 But it's not just Hunter. Kamala's 2028 dreams could get flattened by others in the party. Governor J.B. Pritzker is already sounding the battle cry, firing up supporters and telling them to get ready to fight. Check it out. 14:31 If there's a divide in the national Democratic Party that exists, it's the one between Team Fight and Team Tave. And in Illinois, we've made our choice. We're on Team Fight. Which team are we on? 14:46 That's right. So, Illinois Democrats, I have just one question for you. Are you ready for the fight? 14:52 Are you ready for the fight? 14:55 I am, too. 14:57 It's like Winston Churchill, you know? 15:00 It's like he ate Winston Churchill. 15:02 Jessica, handicap this. What's going on inside the big tent? 15:07 You can't say big tent, either. 15:10 Well, you did, and it's in all of our banners. So I can say it if I want to. But... 15:15 I really think that the results of the midterms are going to recalibrate who's thinking about 2020 and we're going to have big lessons from it. But I actually think Hunter was right in that interview when he said about Kamala that she's trying to distance herself. And even if you wanted to, how is that possible? Because it is your body of work as well. And I think that by the time that we do get around to 2028 or really just post midterms, that there are going to be a lot of people who are sick of the drama of 2024 and relitigating it over and over again. 15:49 The fact that South Carolina moved up to the first primary definitely is an advantage for her. But I think that people are going to be looking for something new and for team fight versus team cave for sure. 16:02 What what is the relitigation of 2024? Meaning what? 16:06 Like, what are you did you think Joe Biden was completely fine or did you what did you cover up? All of it. I think people want to move forward. They want to acknowledge there were mistakes made. That's how you end up losing that election. And let's get new policies out there and find a new person to lead the party. 16:26 Jesse, that going to work? 16:28 I hate to say this, but Jessica is right. 16:31 So is Hunter Biden. He is a very astute political analyst, and I think he should do Brett Baer's all-star panel. She was a lousy politician. She was tied to a lousier president, and she got smoked, even though she had money in the media. And the Democrats, yeah, they want fresh blood. Is it J.B. Beck? No. No. 16:53 Even if he was skinny, he couldn't win the nomination. 16:57 Pete, well, he's 5'8", and he's not straight. So he's got a tougher road, but he is likable. Wait a second. 17:07 What's wrong with being 5'8"? It's not 6'2". 17:14 It's not just the physical. People do like Pete more than they like J.B. back. And Pete has been actually working. He was lazy when he was in the cabinet, but he's been all over the country. I mean, he's been doing town halls, pressing the flesh. And so he might actually have a little bit of a head start. Is he going to get the nomination? I don't know. This thing is wide open. Kamala and Newsom are not front runners like a Vance or a Rubio would be. So whatever happens this time, the DNC is not going to rig it. 17:45 They've learned their lesson. So it's anyone's ball. 17:49 The thing I don't like about moving on from 2024 is the Fauci factor. And I got to tell you, we need a resolution to that. And I would argue that part of the rise of the DSA goes to the fact that we had a generation locked down, getting everything from the Internet. And I do think that people do want a resolution to that. And Hunter, for all his talk, he's not going to own any of that. But you're hearing now maybe he's the presidential candidate. Can you buy into that? 18:15 I hope not. I think that is a no. I know. I mean, I don't know. 18:18 Go ahead and run him. I don't understand why the Democrat Party doesn't seem to have the same exhaustion trigger level that the rest of the country does, which is no one wants to see another Biden. No one wants to see a failed shred person who denies his biological daughter, snorts corks, snorts coke off of prostitutes' booties. Like, I don't know. Thanks. I think it was—I think Clinton did enough in the Oval Office. I think, actually, what if we just have someone that behaves themselves? So I think it would be disastrous for the Democratic Party to actually select this person as even remotely qualified, which is Jill going to sit in the front row for his election, too, like she did in court? 18:55 Whatever. Look, I think it's telling that Harris is an utter failure. And I think what I see coming from the DSA supporters is that they are exhausted by, frankly, a dearth of any kind of articulable policy from any kind of candidate on the left for a long time, because they were simply telling you things like, well, she's black and a woman. So that's why she should win. I think people were craving some type of impact in their life, which you've said that too. Clearly, the rest of the candidate field feels that way because they are not even giving her a second thought. No one has said, well, let's wait to see what Harris is doing. 19:28 Every single Democrat is vying for their position, thinking that it's a wide open field. And really telling are those numbers. I know we don't like polls, but it's fascinating that Harris has a nine point swing right now, depending on which Republican she runs against. What that tells me is that it's a would-you-rather game for the people in the Democrat Party. Would I rather slide down a razor-made Blannister into lemonade, or would I rather vote for Kamala? And it depends on what the other option is. Whereas you have someone like 5'8 and not straight, who he actually is doing really well in those polls against Republicans. 20:02 So clearly the Democrat Party needs to make up its mind. And I also hate saying that J.B. Back is correct. But his point of unifying the party instead of saying they're too moderate or they're too progressive, that bodes better for his party to say, look, it's just us against them instead of continuing to try to parse hairs over their circus sideshow freak tent. 20:23 You know, I'm actually surprised that Newsom is trailing as bad as he is. He was the guy that was supposedly anointed. The machine created him here. And I actually think that's somewhat behind Hunter here doing Kamala the way he is. But you have a soft spot for Hunter, I noticed. And, you know, am I wrong? 20:38 Yeah, we lived together in the 90s. Well, I think the reason why you're seeing all this chaos goes back to one thing. Do you remember the postmortem? The Dems prefer that you forget it. This is going to be a mess for them on a national level until they face up to the main reasons. I think Jessica hit on it. The main reasons they got shellacked in 2025. She may disagree with me, but it was three issues, immigration, trans and crime under the umbrella of identity politics. If you can't have concrete responses to these issues, For a Republican, when they ask you to debate and not show a real return to the common sense middle, you will be eaten alive. 21:17 You may win these other little things, but America, they don't like it. If you want to die on the hill of trans and open borders, go for it. It's like... They're like a store that sells nothing but neon unitards and they go bankrupt. And the owner's response, order more neon unitards. You know, they have this clear feedback, but they can't change. And why? Because they don't know what to change into. They don't know what to replace the unitards with because they can't go back because because where can they go? 21:51 That Trump's in the lane. He's in the common sense lane. And they refuse to share that lane with him because remember what how they said, how evil he was. They can't say somebody. 22:02 is the worst thing that ever was, and then share his issues. It's like a vegan restaurant that frames itself as the truly helpful alternative to steak and chops. They demonize meat, but then they go under, but they can't go back to meat and potatoes after everything they've said. So instead... They fall on the sword. They shut down. You demonize Trump so much. How can you return to share his values? You can't you have to abandon the same positions. 22:34 You can't be for a strong border because he is. You can't be for a robust police force because he is. You can't be against men in female sports because that's what he is. So you're like a vegan that is either has to go carnivore or go bust. 22:49 And that's why I actually think to stand it here, I think it's going to be AOC. And you know that Schumer is praying for that because it saves his job. All right. Up next, RFK Jr. turned CNN into roadkill over their half-baked report on his cooking show. 23:24 RFK Jr. starting some beef with CNN, tallow and all, after a reporter claimed his $20 meal costs over $70 at checkout. But it wasn't exactly an apples-to-apples comparison. Watch. 23:38 When we started buying ingredients used in the show, even going for the lowest prices at a big competitive chain, the cost heated up fast. 23:48 Look at this. 23:49 This is the avocado mayonnaise. They priced this at 40 cents because they were only using a couple of tablespoons. To buy the whole thing cost us more than $11. They're only pricing parts of it. And grocery stores don't sell things that way. 24:06 Kennedy firing back on X saying, quote, CNN wants us to incorporate the full package price of every ingredient, regardless of what is used in the recipe. If you put a squirt of ketchup on your burger, would you be surprised if the restaurant charged you for the whole bottle, Greg? This is so... 24:22 Classic media. It's a classic media trope. Strategic stupidity, deliberate ignorance. They pretend not to understand or deliberately misread the mechanism or logic of an action. And then we... 24:37 Always have to explain it to them. They do this with immigration all the time. They act puzzled when when sanctuary policies or reduced deportations lead to more illegal crossings. It's like, oh, enforcement doesn't work. Oh, I don't know what you mean. And how long? Did they pretend not to know that male athletes have an advantage over females? Wait, you're telling me that they have more muscle mass? 25:01 Yes, you knew that. And we had they're hoping we don't have to explain it. It's the same thing with no cash bail being shocked that that creates recidivism. Look. 25:10 It could be that CNN is full of people who don't cook dinner. They simply order from DoorDash or Uber Eats, which they'll dump 70 to 200 bucks easy a night. Meanwhile, any regular family is going to tell you one night a DoorDash can supply ingredients for a week of meals. And, you know, RFK is not a delivery guy. He likes to kill, cook and eat, hopefully in that order. But see, the thing is, we knew what he meant. We knew he was talking about the price on portions and servings of ingredients, not the entire package. 25:45 But CNN couldn't do that story. They could. The only way CNN could do that story was deliberate ignorance. They are so foul. No one. That's why no one wants to eat with them. 25:56 The and the point was for Americans to eat healthy and they're trying to be anti Americans eating healthy. 26:03 Yeah, I think that camp is squarely in the this. There's no better illustration than these group of people who sit in their tiny apartments and get DoorDash and then type up these stories and voice over them so dramatically thinking that they gotcha. Oh, I got it. It was avocado mayonnaise. It costs eight dollars. The majority of Americans, first of all, are way too busy to be watching that ridiculous show. And they're also way too busy providing for their families. And in every kitchen across America, they know exactly what's in their cupboard. They know how much it all costs and they know how to read a recipe. 26:35 These are the same kind of people that need a TikTok video to explain how to cook something instead of going to their family and learning what actually works. They're the same family, by the way, are the same people that have the luxury of not having to stretch things out, of not having to look at price tags or maybe look at the sale. So most all of... The vast majority of Americans know what RFK Jr. meant. They know what eating healthy is. And they are grateful for him saying, yeah, this is how we can implement what is such a healthier situation. By the way, the numbers have been reflecting that. So the purchase of whole foods has increased 7 percent and processed foods has gone way down. 27:08 You would think there's an interest in CNN and saying, you know what? Great job. 27:12 What's better, Jessica, government run grocery stores or cook your own healthy food? 27:20 Those are not my only two options in life. They are on this show. 27:26 The weekend is so soon. I just want to get there. I will say... 27:32 And you guys know this. When you have to go buy the new bottle of something, it's always the worst. Like my shampoo and conditioner is, you know, mid-level expensive. And I will like eke out the last little bit of it because you just like hate to have to go and do it. And avocado mayonnaise costs more than regular mayonnaise. It was a little deceiving to do it that way. But I think if you're going to make the argument to the American people right now that actually food doesn't cost that much, they are going to laugh in your face because that is not their experience. Go back to the burrito debate, which ended in the vice president calling our colleague fat, that, like, Stuff is too expensive. 28:09 Where is this debate happening? This is the other thing about affordability. It is happening. That requires context. 28:15 Most of these debates are in people who live in New York City, in Los Angeles or San Francisco. Prices vary state by state, city by city. But we never talk about that. 28:27 The president just said today, the cost of ground beef, what's it up to? Oh, I don't know. It's like Josh Turek. It's a Josh Turek question. 28:33 Well, what is it? Tell me. 28:35 Well, listen, there are two affordability issues you always hear about. It's food and it's health care. And we were told, by the way, that health care from Obamacare was going to be solved forever. You never hear that when they talk about the, you know, the affordability issue. And it's just obviously obviated for one reason. Real quick here. The definition of insanity, if it is doing the same thing and expecting a different outcome, CNN has achieved it and then some. They're certifiable. There's a reason they get buried in the ratings. Guys, we're not that stupid. How could they think this was going to fly? 29:06 Let's look at the people. Collectively, there was decades of journalistic experience involved in this thing. The guy that did it, Tom Foreman, he's got an Emmy. And yet during Obama's entire first term, this guy wrote a letter to Obama every day. Look it up. Every single day, that guy wrote a letter to Obama. All right. So this is what you're dealing with. Guy's got an Emmy. He did that. A child could see how disingenuous this is. Erin Burnett, who smiled through this whole thing because she was apparently the anchor for the whole thing. 29:37 She's mad. making seven, six, seven million dollars a year. That's the journalism that they're pushing on us. And we're not supposed to notice it. Are you kidding me? Now, look, by the metric that they use, they're extended. You could. What about the cost of the electricity? What about the cost of buying the house that the stove is in? What about the guy that had to go out and catch the salmon and then process it? You can never end with this thing. Everybody sees what they're doing the way this should have gone. 30:05 is traditional kind of journalism. Take it and look at it compared to what a similar meal would have cost three years ago. Because we know what you're trying to do. We understand the metric you're trying to set up. But you can't do that because inflation was so bad under Biden, that wouldn't have worked. And that's why they did it the way they did. That's the worst kind of journalism. I don't know how they didn't expect to get caught. 30:28 I just can't believe that guy has an Emmy and I don't have an Emmy. Why don't I have an Emmy? That's what people want. You're universally reviled. 30:36 Only on this show. Coming up, the death of the diner. 31:00 Welcome back. The 24-hour diner is vanishing. America has 11% fewer restaurants than it did in 2020. The decline is being driven by fewer young Americans going out drinking and grabbing that 2 a.m. meal. Emily, this makes me really sad. I love diners and late at night. 31:17 Me too. Always with the milkshake. I'll say this. It's only dying in certain regard. And there are a couple of diners that are incredible and have really fostered like the romantic, nostalgic view of it that we love, which is when you're there at three in the morning, there's like all walks of life. There's the firefighters getting off their shift and emergency workers. There's I mean, look at us. We work 24 hour news cycle. I don't know what I would do without the 24 hour diner up the street a little bit. The red one. Yeah, totally. Totally. 31:47 Anyway, but the point is, I think in certain areas, though, when they've become just like a magnet for the freaks, then it's the last place you want to be or work at, which is somewhere some Waffle House at 2 a.m. in the morning, depending on the neighborhood. So the real nostalgic American diners with good, affordable food and great companionship. It's here to stay, but you just have to drive a little further maybe to find them. 32:08 Greg, is this a fake story? 32:11 I don't know, man. I feel like I don't need a diner because all I got to do is turn on like Netflix or Amazon and all the big conversations are at diners. Everybody's always meeting at a diner. Do you ever notice that? And they never order anything. They never eat. And it's like, I feel like I watch those shows and I always feel bad for the diner that these people are there and they never have anything. Do you ever think about the other people in the show? Like the other characters, like they got to put up with this crap. 32:42 That's all I got. Since I quit drinking, I've been to a diner in, what, three years. And I do miss the shakes, the cheeseburger deluxe. You know, it's not part of my life anymore. 32:53 Sad. 32:54 What's your diner order? I mean, you're right. You know, in all of these shows, they sit down, they have coffee, and then, like, 30 seconds later, they're shooting a place up. And they say, let's put out a small business store. My diner order, they call them disco fries. I don't know what they call them elsewhere. The wets, they call them. The french fries and gravy with mozzarella cheese. Yeah. So I don't know what they call them. There's like different names regionally. I hate this story just because it's such pure Americana. I hate to see it go. And I have to say diners, especially the ones I grew up with here, they are an absolute miracle of commerce. 33:26 You go into these generally great places here in New York. They got 800 things on the menu. It's amazing. You could go in, you order beef stroganoff in French or something, the thing comes out 30 seconds later and it's like grace. I don't know how they do it. I hate to see that go. And it's also comforting to know that like at 4 a.m. if I just have to have a cheeseburger deluxe, I can go get it. 33:45 Do you still go to the Westway? I think they're still there. Yeah, I go Murray Hill Diner. Not bad. 33:50 When Moondance closed. 33:53 When Moondance closed, that was a big deal. 33:55 It was a big deal. And the Jonathan Larson. Jessie, do you know what a diner is? You take the kids to diners, right? 34:00 No, if you're young and it's 2 a.m. and you're at a diner, that means you didn't score. 34:06 So it's sad. And that's why you shove your face with French toast and French fries. 34:12 You eat your feelings. 34:14 Isn't that what women do? 34:16 Sometimes guys do that, too. 34:19 When we don't score. But only when we don't score. Usually we're pretty disciplined. 34:25 Okay, bye. 34:27 Famicow Friday is up next. 34:46 Fan Mail Friday. First one. This is interesting, especially for you, Paul. Have you ever worn a disguise to go out in public and did it work? You were an undercover cop. What was your best costume? 34:55 All you had to do. It's an amazing thing. Lean into it. Let your hair grow out. Let your facial hair grow out. And I got the ugliest shirt I could find. Loud and ugly. It was like a Hawaiian shirt. I bought it in Indonesia on the trip. And I went on the way to the airport. I said, give me the ugliest shirt you got. And the guy said, no, no. Oh, I want shirt. It's beautiful. And I said, no, no. Give me that. He pulled out this thing. It looked like a Crayola box exploded. You could walk right into a drug deal. They would never think. How about you, Jessica? 35:24 Not disguised like that, but I used to really love to dress up for Halloween. And I did a bunch of years in a row of different Disney princesses as an adult. So did Jesse. 35:35 No, he was someone's Prince Charming, not mine. 35:38 Oh. 35:41 I went undercover for Girls Gone Wild. And I wore a jean jacket and a hat with, like, fake hair. And I think I just looked older than I was. And it made it even more creepy. 35:54 Wow. 35:55 I was platinum blonde for all for a lot of years. And during that time, like I saw those pictures. 36:01 I looked awesome. Yeah. And but people wouldn't recognize me like my family with like, you know, you're waiting at the table waiting for your daughter to walk in the door. And then they're like, like, right in front of like, oh, Emily, I recognize you because you don't have your brunette hair. 36:12 I think that's I have a story, but it's like I can't tell if I wish I had a disguise or not. But so we were out. We were on vacation last week and my wife, we were in a car. My wife was driving. Yes, Jesse. And I had the baby mother-in-law and the niece in the backseat. And we took a wrong turn. We didn't go into our driveway, went into the wrong driveway. So we had to drive a little bit to get to the end and make a three point turn. And we got to the house. And as we're making the three point turn, this woman comes running out of the house screaming. I'm not going to. 36:44 But imagine Texas Chainsaw Massacre. She's screaming at the top of her lungs. What the F are you doing? Get the F out of here. I called the effing cops. You're going to effing pay. I've got you. And my wife rolls down my window and she goes, we're sorry. We're sorry. We took a wrong turn. We took a wrong turn. She goes, I don't give a F. You are. You're going to go to jail. She's screaming and screaming. I had a baby in the backseat. And I go, lady, you got to calm down. She goes, I got. And then she stopped. 37:14 And she looked at me. 37:15 And she goes, I love you. 37:19 I love you. And she puts her hands to her face. And then she noticed how much I despised her. And she goes, no, no, no. And I go, we're going to try to get out of here now. She goes, no, no, no, no, no. Let me help you. Let me help you. You don't understand. You don't understand. And we just drove out. So I'm glad I didn't have a disguise. 37:41 Oh, man. 37:41 She's definitely crying at home right now. Good. 37:45 As she should be. Yeah. Maybe she's watching. Hey, crazy lady. 37:48 Nightmares. 37:48 I hope you learned a lesson, miss. All right. One more thing's up next. 38:08 It's time for one more thing, me. Okay, guys, get ready to start your engines on Sunday in celebration of America. The Freedom 250 Grand Prix revs into high gear in our nation's capital. You can catch all the action only on Fox. Coverage starts on Sunday at 1130 a.m. ET. Best of luck to all the racers and happy 250 America. 38:30 Great. All right. Tonight, Cat Timp, Brianna Lehman, Gerard Small, Todd Pyro. What a show. Let's do this. 38:41 You know, oftentimes when you go to a ball game, you might see a famous person. And here at Citi Field, that's what happened in the bleachers. Check this out. People are enjoying their time. And guess who showed up? Brian Kilmeade. Sticking his hand out from underneath one of the seats to get some peanuts. Peanut shells. Actually, it's a raccoon. Can you see him? 39:02 The hot dog. No, his hand comes out a lot after the hot dog. 39:05 There you go. Anyway... 39:07 It is disgusting. I thought the tape was better. 39:10 There's a little hand. 39:12 Look at that little hand. Let me out. You need a spot show. 39:18 Jeffy. Tommy and Danny gave me a flute today. I'm not sure if everyone is aware, but I am a flautist. I played from fourth grade to 11th grade. Hadn't had my hands on that sucker for quite some time, but picked it right back up. And then I lost the match. 39:35 They really wanted me to say that. Tonight, Jesse, where's primetime? Katie Zacharia, Monica Crowley, Katrina Campens, 8 p.m. Eastern. 39:43 Jessica. Very manly to play a flute, by the way. 39:47 Let's do this. Where's my graphic? 39:49 You go, girl. It's been an exciting week for American women in tennis. Four American women made the quarterfinals at the Cincinnati Open. Jessica Pagula advanced to the semis. Coco Gauff, I hope you win tonight. You go, girl. You go, girl. 40:03 Listen to The Five ad-free on Amazon Music with your Prime membership or subscribe wherever you get your podcasts.